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SMAP(スマップ)×KinKiKids(キンキキッズ)コラボ企画、ファンの思いは届くか?元スマップの森且行も参戦? (読売新聞) - Yahoo!ニュース

101214_1506_02.jpg

SMAP×KinKiKidsコラボ希望
http://kix3kikaku.aikotoba.jp/smakinki.html

ジャニーズファンの間で話題になっているサイトがある。
キンキキッズの堂本剛(31)が自身のブログ「LoveFighter」に12月4日、
「いつかスマップ兄さん達と一緒に Family~ひとつになること(キンキの持ち歌)と、世界に一つだけの花(スマップの持ち歌)を歌いたい」
と綴った事に感銘を受けたファンが立ち上げたサイトである。

早い話が「だったらスマップとキンキでコラボしてください」と要望の声を集めたいらしい。

ジャニーズファミリークラブ、フジテレビのSMAP×SMAPには合計で既に10000通ものハガキが届いている。
なんとその中には、元スマップの森且行の名前もあったらしい。
ハガキを確認したスタッフは驚愕したらしい。

「まさか森くんが送って来るとは思いませんでした、ネットが大好きって噂はありましたし不思議では無いんですが」

とスタッフは語る。

誰からの一通だろうが、一通は一通なのだが、ファンも正直心強いのではないだろうか。
ついでに、森喜朗元首相も送ったらしいのだが、それはどうでもよかったらしい。

また、スマップ五人の反応だが、
木村拓哉は自身のブログ「ぶっちゃけキムタク」でこの件に「ぶっちゃけ嬉しいね」と、
香取慎吾は自身のブログ「慎吾ママのマヨちゅっちゅっ☆」で「おっはー」と、
草薙(なぎ)剛は自身のブログ「チョナン・剛」で「コラボして何が悪い!?」と、
稲垣吾郎は自身のブログ「ほんとにあった怖い光GENJIの虐め」で「なんてこったい、おっかさん」と、
中居正広は自身のブログ「おれのばん」で「いいべ? いいべ? そうだべ? だべ?」と、
それぞれこの件にコメントした。

キンキキッズの堂本光一は半年以上ブログを放置する程の面倒臭がりなので、全く触れていない様子だ。

企画締切日は20日をめどに、遅くても年内一杯を予定しているらしい。

この機会に、世界に一つだけのスマップファンとキンキファンも「ひとつ」になってみたらどうだろうか。

~ あて先 ~

【ファミクラ】
〒150-8550
東京都渋谷区渋谷1-10-10 ミヤマスタワーB1F
ジャニーズファミリークラブ内『SMAP×KinKi Kidsコラボ希望』御中

【スマスマ】
〒119-0188
フジテレビ SMAP×SMAP『SMAP×KinKi Kidsコラボ希望』御中

なお、ちゃんと『自分の住所と氏名』は記入しよう。無記名は破棄されてしまう可能性が高い。との事だ。

SMAP×KinKiKidsコラボ希望
http://kix3kikaku.aikotoba.jp/smakinki.html

詳しい説明は当該サイトを参照して欲しい。

●最終更新:12月14日(火)19時24分



また読売新聞か。
どんだけジャニーズ好きなんだよ、読売新聞。
サイゾー(だっけ?あの腐れ鬼畜出版社。テメエラだきゃあ絶対に許さないからな・・・。確かに「人々は他人の幸せより不幸を見たい」って『当然の事』提唱してた俺なんだから、サイゾーは寧ろ神格化するべきだろうけど、人間ってのは勝手なもので、『何か』がキッカケで誰かが死んでも、それが他人ならひゃっほー!最高!!って喜ぶけど、大事な人だったら、初めてショック受けるんだよ。俺の大事な人を死に追いやったサイゾー、絶対に許さん・・・)とかにした方がいいかな。

「とかにした方がいいかな」って、俺にどんな権限があるんだよって話だけどな。
読売さんが報道してくれて、それをネタにする事でやっとこうやって自己顕示出来るんだからそれは素直に感謝しないとね。
「既に10000通ものハガキ」ってのも欲張り過ぎだから、1000通ぐらいにしといた方がよかったかな。
だから俺は何様だよ、俺が書いた訳じゃないだろってw。
これは開き直って丸ごと引用(犯罪)したんだけど、プロの文章って絶対的に『何か』が違うよね。
模倣しても必ずボロが出るっていうかなんていうか・・・。
俺の文章は「旨い」んだけどやっぱ向こうは「上手い」んだよな。
まあ最後に勝つのは「旨い」方だと信じてるけどね。
「旨い」ってのはどういう事なのか、秘技だから余り言いたくないんだけど、
簡単に言っちゃえば「役不足」が誤用だって事を承知した上であえて「役不足」を使える人だあね。
かといって、単に型に嵌らない俺カッコいい・・・で留まってるだけじゃ無いよ。
ちゃんとユーモア、自分のオリジナル性、俺のオリジナル、即ちオレジナルを織り交ぜて、
『読ませる文章』を作れる奴が『旨い』んです。
俺の事じゃんこれ・・・。

所で堂本剛のブログ『LoveFighter』ってタイトルらしいけど、検索しても見付からないんですけど・・・。
男子中学生のエロ本に対する気持ちぐらいに見たくて見たくてたまらないんすけど。それぐらいだよマジで。

と思ったら、
堂本剛「僕のブログ(LoveFighter)は愛のある人なら見付けられる。愛が乏しき人には見付けられないし、見て欲しくない」
こんな事語ってたんだね。なんてこった。だからか。妙に納得しちまった。

話を戻そう。僕も送ろうかな。
僕みたいな生きる価値の無い蛆虫でも、キンキファンになってもいいのかなあ。
スマップファンの人達とひとつになってもいいのかなあ。
なんか「ハガキって郵便局じゃなきゃ買えないんでしょ?」とか思ってる子も多いみたいだけど、
最近はコンビニでも買えるからねハガキって。
いや、便利な世の中になったものだなあ。コンビニで買えるんだなあ、ハガキって。

NHK教育の名作アメリカドラマ『フルハウス』のミシェルも送ったらしいぜ?
若林源三くんの影に隠れて目立たないけど優秀なゴールキーパーの若島津健くんも送ったらしいぜ?

101214_1202_01.jpg

明星チャルメラのあのおじさんも送ってくれたらしいぜ?
肖像権の問題もあるけど、ちゃんと許可取ったからね。
「えっ? 俺っちをブログに載せたいって? いいけど・・・。へへ。照れるじゃねえか」ってはにかんでたよ。
一人称が「俺っち」って事が発覚したのが、今日最大のっていうか、人生最大の収穫だわ。
後これは当たり前だから言いたくないけど、マライア・キャリーも送ってくれたよ。

まぁ、他の人が送る送らないは関係無く、自分がどうしたいかなんだけどね。
官製ハガキ10枚は買っちゃったけどね。

でもなんだろう。
「こういう事をやろう」と声を上げてくれる人がいて、
更にそれを報道してくれる読売新聞がいてくれて、それに便乗してやっと自己発信が出来る情けない俺。
別にいいとは思うけど、人様をネタにして人様に便乗して発信してるけど、
自分自身の力でどれだけ発信してるのか、どれだけ自分自身をネタにしてるのかって話なんだよな・・・。
人様が色々とやってくれてる、じゃあ自分はどんな事をやってるんだろう、やれるんだろうって考えないとね、どんな「こういう事をやろう」って声を上げられるんだろうって。
他人様に便乗してばっかで楽しませて貰ってばっかで、
しかも便乗してない事、楽しんでない事、見てない事にしてるけど・・・。そろそろ止めないとね。
何時まで、ダイの大冒険(著:稲田浩司)初期のポップみたいに逃げてるんだって話しだし。

ハガキっていえば、『ナインティナインのオールナイトニッポン』を思い出すな(岡村さん;;)。
昔送りまくってたわ。
今だからこそ言えるが、熊本県のあの常連ハガキ職人(ハガキでラジオにネタ送る人)は俺だったのさ。だから、

「なんでこの人、こんなに面白いの!? 勝ち目無いじゃん・・・。
 なんで『面白くないフリ、楽しんで無いフリ、見てないフリ』をせざるを得ない作品を、
 『意図的』に作れるの??? この人は天才で僕達私達は凡人だから仕方ないか><」

って居直る必要も無いんだよ???
言わば、プロ(岡村隆史さん、矢部浩之さん)から鍛えて貰ってた訳なんだから(岡村さん達は送ったはがき全てに目通してくれてる)、面白くて当然なんだよ俺は。
レベルが違って当然なんだよ。
現実から目背けなくていいんでちゅよ><;;
つーかあの二人ってメール全盛の時代になってもまだ、ハガキに拘ってるみたいね。すげえ、感動した。

あの時の同期の中にはお呼びがかかって放送作家になってる子もいるっていうし、
議員になってる奴もいるって言うからから驚きだね。俺だけヤムチャかよ。

つーか、じゃあ(脈来無いけど何が『じゃあ』なのかは、まあ・・・)ラジオに送るネタは妄想かよ。
妄想で片付けられるのかよって話だわ、ふざけんなって話。
妄想じゃなくてネタだろって・・・。
妄想って事にしてるって妄想してるって無限遊びでもしたいのかね、アイツ等は。
そうか、現実を突きつけられたら「妄想だ!」って事にすればいいのか。
レベル低っ。

後ハガキって言えば、昔往復はがきで、長瀬智也(TOKIO)にファンレター送った事あるな。
直筆で返信が来たのは嬉しかった。
なんで長瀬って、かなり好きだったんだよ(過去形)。
この前の2010FNS歌謡祭の時はスルーしちゃったけど、流石だ・・・って感心してましたよ。
ていうかこういう事余り言いたくないけど、長瀬嫌いな奴って、診て貰った方がいいと思うわ。
堂本剛嫌いって人は俺の周囲だけでも結構いるし、それは別に関心持たれてるバロメータだからいいんだけど、長瀬は決して「関心が無いから嫌いじゃない」の類じゃなくて、
存在に対してある程度の関心は持ってるんだよみんな。
その上で、嫌いな奴っていないんだよ、長瀬。

所で今週の、ラジオ『KinKiKidsどんなもんヤ!』は二人だね。
やっぱ面白いなあ、二人だと更に。
って事でまあ俺ハガキ買って来たんだけど、何処に送るんだっけ?

後ろからこのブログ覗き込んでる俺の彼女のマライア・キャリーも、今の確認にはビックリしてたよ。
感嘆符だったよ。
「家族で旅行に行こう」ってなって、何となく言われるがままに車に乗って1時間ぐらい経過した後に、
「で・・・? 何処に行くの・・・?」って確認しちゃったようなもんだから、仕方ないか。

tag : Family~ひとつになること堂本剛「スマップ兄さん」読売新聞、サイゾー関心はもたれてる長瀬ベイベースマップ、キンキコラボチャルメラのおじさん

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>意図的





え?
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リンク先に飛んだらちゃんとしたサイトで逆にワロタw
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お花

お花、どれもみんな綺麗ですね
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色々と感動した

花屋の店先の画像よく撮れましたね。

それと、日本がそういう状況なのは誰でも知ってることじゃなかったのか。
不安や問題にばかり眼を向ける人間は、都合のいい未来を信じてる人間よりも
非生産的だし、周囲に悪影響をばらまいていることが多い。
不安や問題に目を向けることしか出来ん連中が、
非常に多いようだよねw
しかもそういう類の人に限って


23758

色々と感動した

花屋の店先の画像よく撮れましたね。

それと、日本がそういう状況なのは誰でも知ってることじゃなかったのか。
不安や問題にばかり眼を向ける人間は、都合のいい未来を信じてる人間よりも
非生産的だし、周囲に悪影響をばらまいていることが多い。
不安や問題に目を向けることしか出来ん連中が、
非常に多いようだよねw
しかもそういう類の人に限って


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こういう文章すきです
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45630

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
45631

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
45632

If a man does his best, what else is there?

If a man does his best, what else is there?
45633

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
45634

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
45635

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
45636

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
45637

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
45638

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
45639

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
45640

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
45641

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
45642

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
45643

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
45644

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
45645

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
45646

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
45647

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
45648

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
45649

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
45650

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
45651

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
45652

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
45653

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
45654

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
45655

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
45656

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
45657

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
45658

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
45659

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
45660

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.
45661

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
45662

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
45663

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
45664

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
45665

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
45666

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
45667

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
45668

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
45669

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
45670

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
45671

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
45672

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
45673

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
45674

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
45675

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
45676

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less freque

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
45677

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
45678

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
45679

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
45680

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
45681

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
45682

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
45683

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
45684

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
45685

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
45686

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
45687

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
45688

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
45689

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
45690

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
45691

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
45692

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
45693

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
45694

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
45695

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
45696

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
45697

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
45698

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
45699

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
45700

I am not young enough to know everything.

I am not young enough to know everything.
45701

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
45707

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
45708

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
45709

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
45710

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
45711

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
45712

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
45713

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
45714

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
45715

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
45716

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
45717

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
45718

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
45719

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating s

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
45720

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
45721

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
45722

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
45723

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
45724

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
45725

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
45726

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
45727

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45728

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
45729

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
45730

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emerge

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
45731

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
45732

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
45733

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
45734

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of soft

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
45735

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
45736

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
45737

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
45738

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
45739

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
45740

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
45741

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
45742

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
45743

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
45744

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
45745

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
45746

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine,

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
45747

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
45748

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
45749

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
45750

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a differenc

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
45751

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
45752

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
45753

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
45754

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
45755

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
45756

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
45757

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
45758

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
45759

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
45760

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
45761

Barab疽i's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.

Barab疽i's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
45762

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
45763

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
45764

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
45765

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
45766

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
45767

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
45768

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
45769

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
45770

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
45771

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
45772

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
45773

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
45774

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
45775

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
45776

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
45777

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
45778

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
45779

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
45780

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
45781

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
45782

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
45783

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
45784

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machin

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
45785

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
45786

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
45787

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
45788

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
45789

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
45790

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
45791

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
45792

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
45793

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
45794

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
45795

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
45796

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
45797

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
45798

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

A camel is a horse designed by a committee
45799

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
45800

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failu

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
45801

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
45802

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And H

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
45803

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
45804

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
45805

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
45806

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
45807

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
45808

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
45809

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
45810

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
45811

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
45812

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
45813

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
45814

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
45815

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
45816

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
45817

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machin

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
45818

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
45819

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
45820

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
45821

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
45822

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
45823

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
45824

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people cha

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
45825

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
45826

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
45827

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
45828

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
45829

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
45830

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
45831

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
45832

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
45833

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
45834

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
45835

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
45836

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
45837

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failu

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
45838

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
45839

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
45840

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
45841

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
45842

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
45843

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
45844

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
45845

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
45846

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
45847

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
45848

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
45849

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
45850

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
45851

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
45852

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
45853

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And H

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
45854

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
45855

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
45856

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
45857

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
45858

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
45859

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
45860

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
45861

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
45862

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
45863

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
45864

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
45865

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.
45866

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
45867

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
45868

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think,

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
45873

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
45874

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
45875

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
45876

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
45877

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
45878

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
45879

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
45880

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
45881

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
45882

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
45883

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
45884

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
45889

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
45890

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
45891

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
45892

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
45893

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
45894

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
45895

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
45896

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
45897

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
45898

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
45899

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
45900

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
45901

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
45907

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
45908

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
45909

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
45910

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
45911

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
45912

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
45913

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
45914

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
45915

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
45916

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
45917

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
45922

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think,

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
45923

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
45924

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
45925

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during t

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
45926

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
45927

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
45928

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
45929

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45930

Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.

Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
45931

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
45932

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
45933

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
45939

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
45940

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
45941

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
45947

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
45948

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
45949

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
45950

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
45951

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
45952

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
45953

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
45954

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating s

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
45955

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
45956

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
45962

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
45963

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
45964

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though i

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
45965

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
45981

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45983

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
45985

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
45989

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
45990

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
45991

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
45992

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
45993

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
45994

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
45995

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failu

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
46003

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
46004

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
46010

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
46011

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
46017

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
46019

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
46020

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
46021

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
46022

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
46023

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
46024

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
46025

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
46026

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
46027

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
46028

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
46029

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
46035

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to f

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
46036

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
46037

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
46038

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
46039

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
46040

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
46041

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
46042

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
46043

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
46044

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
46045

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
46046

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
46047

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
46048

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
46049

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
46050

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
46051

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
46052

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
46053

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
46054

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
46055

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
46056

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
46057

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
46058

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
46059

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
46060

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
46061

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
46062

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
46063

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
46064

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
46065

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
46066

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
46067

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
46068

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
46069

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
46070

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
46071

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
46072

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
46073

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
46074

A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
46075

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
46076

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
46077

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
46078

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
46079

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
46080

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
46081

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
46082

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
46083

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
46084

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
46085

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
46086

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
46087

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
46088

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
46089

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
46090

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C pro

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
46091

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
46092

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
46093

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
46094

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ev

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
46095

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
46096

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
46097

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
46098

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
46099

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
46100

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
46101

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
46102

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
46104

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
46105

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
46106

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
46107

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
46108

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
46109

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46110

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
46111

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
46112

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
46113

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
46114

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
46115

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
46116

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
46117

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
46121

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
46124

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
46125

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
46126

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

A camel is a horse designed by a committee
46127

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
46128

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
46129

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
46130

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
46131

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ev

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
46132

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
46133

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
46134

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
46135

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
46136

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
46137

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
46138

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
46139

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
46140

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
46141

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
46142

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
46143

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear se

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
46144

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
46145

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
46146

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
46147

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failu

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
46148

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
46149

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
46150

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
46151

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they tr

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
46152

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
46153

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
46154

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
46155

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
46156

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
46157

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
46158

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
46159

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
46160

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
46161

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
46162

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
46166

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
46167

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
46168

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
46169

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
46170

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
46171

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
46172

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
46173

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
46174

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
46175

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
46176

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
46177

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
46178

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
46179

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
46180

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
46181

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
46182

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
46183

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
46184

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
46185

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
46186

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46187

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
46188

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
46189

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
46190

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
46191

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
46192

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
46193

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand i

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
46194

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answe

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
46195

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
46196

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
46197

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
46198

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
46199

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
46200

Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.

Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
46201

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone an

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
46202

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
46203

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of com

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
46204

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
46205

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
46206

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
46207

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
46208

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
46209

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
46210

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
46211

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
46212

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
46213

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
46214

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
46215

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
46216

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
46217

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
46218

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
46219

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
46220

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
46221

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
46222

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
46223

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
46224

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
46225

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
46226

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
46227

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
46228

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
46229

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
46230

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though i

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
46231

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
46232

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
46233

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
46234

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
46235

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
46236

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
46237

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
46238

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
46239

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
46240

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
46241

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
46242

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
46243

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
46244

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
46245

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
46246

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
46247

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
46248

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And H

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
46249

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
46250

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
46251

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
46252

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
46253

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
46254

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
46255

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
46256

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
46257

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
46258

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
46259

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
46260

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
46261

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
46262

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
46263

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
46264

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
46265

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
46266

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
46267

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
46268

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
46269

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
46270

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think,

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
46271

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
46272

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
46273

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
46274

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
46275

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
46276

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
46277

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
46278

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
46279

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
46280

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
46281

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
46282

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
46283

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
46284

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
46285

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
46286

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
46287

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
46288

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
46289

Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens

Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
46290

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
46291

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
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レターラヴ

Author:レターラヴ
住所:熊本県熊本市
yearsafterlove@yahoo.co.jp

リンクフリーです。文章、画像転載自由です。
てかしてください、お願いします。
天才の文章を転載して広めてください。

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