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熊本、火の国まつり。2011年8月5日(金)、6日(土)、7日(日)開催。
やれやれ、今年もこの時期がやって来たか・・・。
仁美からも舞からもキャサリン(外人)からも、「一緒に火の国まつり行こう////」って誘われちゃったよ。
モテる男は辛いぜ。荷物が持てる男は辛いぜ(荷物持ちかよｗ)。
調整してなんとか被らないように(俺の下半身は被ってるけど)出来たけど、ダルいなー・・・。
それはともかく、昔ほど心踊らないのは何故だろうか。ダンサートムが踊らないのは何故だろうか。
たこ焼きとかカキ氷の絶対的な味とか、花火の絶対的な美しさなんて変化してる訳ないのにね。
昔は美味しい、綺麗と思えたものが、今はどうでもよく感じてしまう。
多分こどもの頃は、心の中に『こういう奴』がいたからだろうな。
こういう奴が一緒だったから、何を食べても美味しかったし何を見ても綺麗に感じたし、何処に行っても楽しかったんだろう。
オナニー、セックスをしても、心の底から気持ちよかった。ドキドキがあった。心底相手が愛しかった。
今は性欲処理のために、惰性でしてるだけ。
でもいつからか、こういう奴が見えなくなってしまった。
こういう奴がいた時は、皮肉、嫌味の類なんて知らなかった。ただ毎日が楽しかった。
こういう奴が消えてから、文章力も上がって、嫌味も覚えた。
なのに、こういう奴がいた時の自分の方がステキで悪意の無い作品が作れてた。
今の俺を、こういう奴が見たら、どう思うだろうか。
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